gaile's Cancer Blog
November 19, 2008
| Thanks | Views: 226 |
As usual your support is wonderful. I wanted to address my son. He is THE best psychological support I have. At 21 he is amazing. He was home with me all last year as he had some undiagnosable ailment that really scared us. Docs did every test and multiple medications. Nothing seemed to give us a clue, or make him better. Then, POOF!, one day he was well. Anyway it allowed he and I to spend so much time together. He was too sick to go out with friends and took a term off of college. He sat and talked with me for hours every day. When I was upset, he was the only one who could give me strength. He has endless patience and listens so intently. So now that he is in Japan for 11 months, he emails me 3-4 times a week and sends many photos on MySpace. He has called me twice, but that is hard with the 16 hour time difference. He is still the most intuitive person I know. He always asks how I’m doing, and gives advice that I actually use. He knows exactly who his father is and gives me great guidance in how to handle him. I miss him terribly, but I insisted he go and live his dream. He still is taking care of me.
I asked him to try to be my coach when I transition. He has already coached me some and I believe he can make it a peaceful and loving time. He is remarkable. For many years he had planned on becoming a Buddhist monk (he changed his mind after his first year of college in San Francisco, he discovered women), that is how he ended up as a Japanese major. When he was 4 years old, our family minister told us that she would observe him counseling other children and adults. He was kind, intuitive, and seemed like as old soul. She believed he would enter the clergy. He has always been that way and considered going to med school to become a psychiatrist (before the monk phase).
I have to be the luckiest mom on Earth. Both of my children are extraordinary people. They are my rocks. They are different as night and day, and yet both have hearts full of all of the things that make life full and rich. Do they have snotty tantrums? Yes. Are they sometimes rude and selfish? Yes. Do I get mad? Yes. It all just makes us a normal family. My 32 year old niece is the same way and I depend on her love so much. My brother, her father, is such a rock. He is loving, and gives such support to me. He takes care of all of my frustrations. He handles business and home repair, he listens and counsels. We have an extraordinary family. I am blessed and feel I haven’t the right to feel sorry for myself, ever. And Yes, Thanksgiving is at my brother’s house. He is a gourmet cook, so we want him in his own milieu so he can be at his best.
Okay, I’m done for now. First I don’t write at all, then I just can’t seem to stop. I guess I unplugged the drain. Love to you all! I really do love you, pretty great huh? Gaile
Thanks for your support -
Gaile,
Your son sounds amazing as your daughter is. It must have been so difficult to let your son go to Japan. I remember my mom let me come to the U.S. as an exchange student for 11 months, I know it was very difficult for her. It is really hard for parents to let go of their kids to foreign countries for such a long time, and I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you with everything going on with you. It takes a lot of love to do that. You are great Mom.
Does your son living in Tokyo? Do yu skipe him? I use Skype to talk to my mom in Tokyo every night. Yeah, time difference sucks, doesn’t it?
Do not worry about writing too much :) Write as much as you want!
Yuyu
Dear Gaile; If it weren’t for your long letters, I would not have known you so well and so clearly. I love your descriptions of people, places, events, therapies, Dr.’s, your kids, husband, your friends and so on. They all have special places in your heart and you leave yourself wide open to receive and give love. Whatever is happening with your prepartation in the next phase of cancer, I want to be just like you. It takes so much courage to admit what you have and how you plan on handling what time is left. You know Gemma did that, and it completely amazed us all with her grace and honesty, particularly at such a young age. I think most of us could say we have had a great life, that there is not a magnitude of things left undone. After all, how much can one cram in a lifetime. Isn’t it supposed to be quality not quantity that we treasure. Your family is enriched with intuition, they seem to know how you need them, and they are more giving as each day passes. You are very lucky Gaile to have such great kids, brother, niece and I’m sure there are others you haven;t mentioned along the way. I’m grateful for your posts. It helps me to see beyond my own self and consider other people who have to worry about their kids and how they are coping. That is a burden I do not have but wish sometimes that I did. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I have a wonderful niece and nephew but I don’t see much of them due to their very busy lives. My niece is getting married next year, so that will be fun to help organize, and my nephew and his wife are expecting their 2nd baby this month. Oh my, Xmas is going to be just a blast. They didn’t want to know what the gender of the baby is, so we all will be scurrying around to buy things at the last minute. We are on top of the world.
Thanks Gaile. I always love to read your post.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Weezie
What great kids you have! I know that I wasn’t mature enough at that age to handle so much. Thank goodness for family! (most of the time! lol) Write as much as you want to. I’m always happy to hear from others.