gaile's Cancer Blog
July 20, 2008
| Here's The Latest! | Views: 770 |
Well, I started on the taxotere. Strong stuff alright. I hope that the damage it has done to my body is indicative of the damage it is doing to the evil that lurks within.
I had treatment on the 10th, three days before my birthday. I felt very weak and tired by my birthday, but very little nausea or other symptoms. But each day I felt a little worse until 6 days later I started running a fever. I went in the next day and had a CBC. My neutrophils, you know, the white blood cells that fight infection, had almost been obliterated. My doc was on vacation, but I saw a wonderful partner, they all have impressed me so far. He wanted to admit me to the hospital and start me on IV antibiotics. I asked him if I could be out in three days as I was the matron of honor in my best friend’s wedding. He couldn’t promise that. So he offered me Plan B. Stay home, stay isolated, take a strong oral antibiotic, and come in every day for 5 days for an injection to stimulate that old bone marrow to build more of those white cells. I took Plan B. Two days later my white cells were improving, but still dangerously low. My mouth was so full of painful ulcers, bleeding. My lips were swollen like Angelina Jolie’s. I also had parotiditis (the salivary gland where mumps settles) was infected and swollen. But you know what?
I went to the wedding and had a great time. I was told to go and stay away from everyone, stay for the ceremony, no hugs, no conversations, just leave after the ceremony. As I stood awkwardly not hugging my dearest friends I realized that moments like these are what life is all about. These are the moments that make life worth living. Not isolating myself alone at home. So I made a choice to enjoy a most special time. To live my life to the fullest while I can. I hugged, I danced, a little bit, and I enjoyed every magical moment of a most perfect evening. I looked awesome. I had my short hair fixed up as it hasn’t started to fall out yet. I will post a photo when I get them.
If I hadn’t shared this most wonderful moment in time with my best friend, she and I would have both been so sad. But as it was, I was living life to the fullest. To hell with the germs. If I pay a price, then so be it. It will have been well worth it. My children and husband were there and my kids looked amazing. I am so happy for the life I have been given, and for the time I am blessed with, to still be enjoying it, to the fullest.
Am I tired and sore today? Yes. Are my lymph nodes all swollen and tender? Yes. Does my skin hurt? Yes. So I must be still alive! Good signs all.
I finished my shots today. I will call my doc tomorrow as she is back from vacation. I want her to check my CBC. I hope I am still building those cells. Every orifice is bleeding a little so I wouldn’t be surprised if my platelets are low too. But all of this is fixable. And I am living my life.
Oh, and I won’t be surprised if my next dosage of taxotere is a bit smaller. Keep on being strong and remember not to let life slip you by while you are trying to stay alive.
Thanks for your support -
Hi Gaile,
I want to wish you a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I am so glad you had a great time at the wedding.
I understand what you mean. My daughters were juniors in high school when I had cancer the first time. I even postponed my chemo once so I could attend a very special thing at school for them. Like you said, certain things anly happen once in life.
My white count was terribly low both times I had chemo. My oncologist started me in 1994 on the antibiotic, Cipro, before I started chemo and I had to take it every day throughout the 6 cycles. I am surprised they didn’t do that for you.
Hang in there and always remember my love, thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day.
Hugs,
Joyce
so glad you got to go to the wedding. It sounds amazing! Hope you are resting a ton today and your recovery is fast.
Actually Joyce, I was on Cipro, but it wasn’t strong enough.
I’m new here, and just finished reading your blog. You’re an amazing, and strong person! I hope to conquer my fears like you have. I think cancer patients are among the most bravest in the world: facing a deep challenge, and trying to smile through it. I hope you the best, and will check back soon.